Bees Are Always Busy, So Do I

 Assalamualaikum and good morning

I feel my life as a robot right now...haha...Oh ya, I forgot, first of all thanks for those are still open my blog just to read stupid stuffs that I put in here. And sorry that I am too busy working right now...I have to work from morning until evening as a sales promoter and at the evening-night I helped my father out at the Bakso stall. I make drinks for the customer. Insya-Allah I'll try my best to put some pictures in this blog later on.

 A cute bee that I think doesn't busy at all...xD

Many people asked me why I am so serious when it comes to money? >.< ....it is simple, I want to build my own empire of business and have lots of money in the bank for my family later on. It is for the sake of my parents, wife (in future) and kids (also in the future)...Plus, my friends said that we can later on start to finance easily after we get a job, with the degree in our hands.

For me, if we had the chance to save some money before we finished our degree would it be nice? You can have lots of money after graduating while others are about to start financing at that time. My target, I will have RM30k++ if I can save around RM5k for each two semesters in my degree. I believe It can be achieve if I put more discipline in handling my money. And that's why I'm thinking about quitting smoke... I want to save more money. I just don't care about my own health actually. I need cigarette whenever I feel tensed, hanging out with friends, after eating, bored, and many more. But it sure costs me and I can't bare it anymore.

For these 4-5 months there are few targets that I want to achieve, that's why I'm busy working. In next few 4 months, insya-Allah I will get RM4k that I need. RM2k is for my savings, that would be a total of RM11k if I count it all, and another RM2k to buy the lovely Sony PlayStation 3. =D

I'm sure spending my money on consoles like this is far more better than buying new cell phones. Cell phones evolves fast. If you buy a new cell phone today, a month later you won't surprise if there's a new model, which has a stylish design, cheaper, the specifications are better than yours, and theworst part is, when you want to sell the existing cell phone, the price dropped tremendously. That's why I choose to buy PlayStation 3 than a new cell phone.

Just take a look at Allah's beautiful creation...I really wish I can get a huge 'empire' like this one day

For the money that I've been saving since last year, if it reaches RM20k, the dividend that I can get if I put into the bank, I will get around RM2k, well that's enough for an engagement. >.<. I think about getting engage in the age of 23 or 24. That should be just fine. I don't know why, but I keep on thinking about the future that awaits.

Owh my, I talk too much about money...-.-

Yeah and one more thing, when thinking about the girl that I like since I was in high school, makes me more energetic to work harder in order to make more money. Although I had two accidents while I was riding my motorcycle to work due to the slippery road, I stood up and ignored all the pain that I had to suffer. It is all because of her. I won't mind to save my money if it's not for her.

And for all more hardship that I have to face now, I know that God will repay it with happiness someday.
One of His name is Al-Muqsit, means The Just...I really believe He would give me the happiness that I need in the future...=')

The Regret Will Never End...

Assalamualaikum…

The date, 5th of April 2011. This is the birthday of the man that I love, Zakaria Bin Duramin, who was born on the 5th of April, 1947. It is a written-fate that he used to be my neighbor, back when my family was in the quarters of agricultural department in Serdang, Selangor. His wife, Mama (Rozlena Binti Ab Latif) would nurse me in her house, a place where I could feel the warmth of love and care, in the morning chill of the quarters. Sun may lit the ground by it's blazing sunshine in the morning, that will eventually arise everybody's life in the quarters. We lived like we were in some kind of village back then.

In the very house, I spend lots of time with them. Baba always entertained me with his jokes, and most of the weekends he will ask my parents' permission  to bring me out along together with Mama and his daughters, Kakak Rin (Ezrin Asyiqin) and Kakak Na (Ezna Syaqira).

Unfortunately, I think in the late 90's, Baba was admitted to a hospital which I can't remember. And he was admitted into the ward, for several days. Both of his kidneys were damaged. Later on, he had to go for dialysis. At first, he needs to go for it once a week, then twice a week, and at the critical time, once every two or three days.

His condition was still like that. My family had to move to Kulim, Kedah in 2003. Of course it was a sad moment for me, to leave the lovable family as I spend time with them since I was a little baby. They used to change my diapers, bath me, pick my ears, fed with foods and love...I appreciate that...Thanks a lot...=')

Actually, if I don't leave the quarters, they will move to Sungai Buloh. This is because, Baba's service in the government sector has ended...He retired in 2003. Ever since I was apart from them, I'll visit them for about 2-3 times every year if I had the chance to do so.

Time flies around very fast, with the blink of an eye, 2009 arrived, a year of chaos to me, as I had to face lots of challenges in that particular year. But for Baba and family, it turned to be worse than before. Mama was positive, for having cancer, and Baba's condition was weaker than before.

2010, Mama was cleared out from cancer, but Baba turned out to use a stick to support himself...Baba started to have problems with his eye, cataract. Then his ears cannot hear the sounds from the surroundings properly, he cannot smell as good as before. To make it simple, it's like his senses are having trouble. Kakak Na and Kakak Rin told me that some of his friends in the hospital, who used to have dialysis process have passed away. It is a miracle, that Baba still hanging on, although he had gone through the dialysis process for more than a decade. They also said that Baba's friends cannot stand for the kidney failure disease like him. Baba has a strong soul and spirit, to continue on living. He knew that he will never win the battle, but still he was fighting against it...until the end of his life...

About two weeks before he passed away, I was given the opportunity to take care of him for a night at a hospital...Only then I knew how hard it is to deal with old folks. We need to have lots of patience of course. He sometimes doesn't remember about the past due to the Alzheimer. So, when I take care of him for a night, he doesn't remember few things about events happened an hour before. Plus, when I tried to help him, somehow he was in a deep pain. I was sad when I had done things that make him in a crucial pain, but somehow I must do it for the sake of his health...That really makes me sad...

One evening, Kakak Na called me and said that Baba was in a really critical condition...I was having an outing back then. When she told me, my eyes started to fill by droplets of water...My friends were there, in I think it was not cool to cry in front of public. Back in my hostel, I sleep, to forget the problems. When I woke up, I checked my cell phone, I received lots of phone calls and texts. Baba passed away...I was bursting into tears. I quickly perform my Maghrib prayer, and read Surah Yaasin for him...

I cannot go to his house because I have no transport at that particular time...So I need to wait for the next morning to go to his funeral. I tried to wake up as early as I can, I took a bus to KL Central, and then took a train to Sungai Buloh. But I just couldn't make it to his burial ceremony.

In other words...I didn't have the chance to take a look at his face for the last time...To kiss his forehead for the first and last time...But now I don't have the chance anymore...T_T

The tears that I've been shedding until now just won't bring him back...

My Life After The Foundation

Assalamualaikum and good morning~

Hmmm...Right now it's 4.50 a.m and I just start blogging...haha!!! See, I turned to be a nocturnal person after the foundation. I slept until afternoon (I don't need to care about classes to catch on), and started sleeping at dawn. Maybe yeah, I am an owl-to-be.....=D

I'm certainly not studying anything at night....

Few days after I arrived at Kulim, I thought to look myself for a vacancy as a replacement teacher at any schools in Kulim. So, first things first, I had to cut my hair...Yes, CUT MY LOVELY STRAIGHT LONG HAIR down to the earth..T_T... I really jealous of my old friend. He has a long hair because he is working, not studying like me. I had to sacrifice it for the sake of getting the position, but unluckily, I forgot that my SPM slip along together my friend from UiTM Puncak Alam, Wanud. Actually the slip is in a folder, which I brought to UiTM Puncak Alam and I carelessly drop it there, in his room...=P...So I asked him to post the slip to my hose, and I got the slip back!!! thank God!!!

 From a so called 'Korean' hair~

                                                                                            To a Shin Chan-ned hair?...=P

So, yesterday I just completed the documents for the application as a replacement teacher, this is because of the misplaced SPM slip ...=.="...I also asked for jobs as a backup if I didn't get the job as a teacher. I asked for a position in a factory, as a store person, but I think when the interview checked my SPM result, I think she would not accept me, because she noticed my result is average, and I will further my studies rather than hooking up with the factory all along my life. So now I'm back at my father's Bakso stall, to help him in making drinks to the customer. But lately, the business had become worse. The customers were not as many as they were, back in 2010. The stall is too quiet compared to couple of years ago.

I wanna be a millionaire so freakin' bad~

One more thing to be considered is my financial status. I just wanna start to save some money but I was burdened by a lot of debts. My motorcycle, Honda Ex5 had to be repaired a month ago and it cost RM500. I had to use the money that supposed to be use to pay my college fees, RM200. Then I borrowed RM350 from my mom, and I had to take back my PlayStation 2 from a shop. Last month I brought my PS2 to get serviced since it can't read DVD games like it used to. Well, my PS2 is almost 7 years old. It needs to be serviced so it can be used like before and I was charged RM130. So, the total debt is around RM 680. And I am unemployed yet...If I only work for my father, I will only get RM10-RM15 per day, 6 p.m-11 p.m. And I also must put aside some cash for the fuel and cigarettes. And after a brief calculation, I estimate I can only save RM50 per week. That means RM200 per month. I need to get a job that starts at the morning and ends at the afternoon/evening so I still can help my father out.

But despite of all my financial constrain, I really appreciate the value of friendship that I experienced even after the foundation. I met with some old friends,guys and girls from MRSM Langkawi. There are now studying in UniKL (Boss and Bod), UiTM Pulau Pinang (Kapten, Ayam, Arau, Conan). Not to forget some other friends in Pulau Pinang Matriculation College/Kolej Matrikulasi Pulau Pinang (KMPP). We had a good travel via motorcycle (convoy), drinking and eating together, and not to forget smoking together by sharing a packet of cigarette. We will gonna miss those moments we had together.

Here are some pictures for our mini reunion:

 From the left Aizat Akmal (Kapten/Helmet), Firdaus Ridzwan (Boss), Me and Hafiz (Ayam)

 Kapten is somehow laugh at Boss...haha

 Boss is looking forward about his future...I miss my hair..='(

 This is, the coolest pic...hehe

 Almost the same as the above~

 Stupid jokes were still delivered even on an escalator and Ayam cannot help himself from stop laughing...=D

Only now I noticed that we were all dressed in black...=.="

Can't wait to face the days that awaits me in the future~ and I hope I can get a job, so that I can have lots of money. Okay, it's already 6.30 a.m and time to sleep folks~

P.S - I really miss my old hair....

So Long My Friend and Adversary~

Assalamualaikum and good morning

Finally I managed to end my second semester for Foundation in TESL, UiTM Shah Alam. The exams were quite hard, I can't deny, but somehow I was feeling happy during the exams. We had to face 6 papers during the finals. Starting from Listening and Speaking, Literature, Writing, Reading, Grammar, and Islamic Studies. Literature and Grammar sure kill us all. Hahaha.

After finished my last paper, Islamic Studies, I rushed myself to clear my stuffs in my hostel, go to my brother's house in Subang Jaya and took all my stuffs. That night, I went to UiTM Puncak Alam to stay for a night day, wth my friend, Ikhwanuddin (Wanud) because the next Saturday morning I got a test, Malaysian University Selection Inventory (MUnSYi) which is a personality test for those who wish to pursuit their degree in USM, Pulau Pinang. I just take it as my backup plan if I don't get TESL degree in the future. I really hope I can get TESL for my degree no matter it will be in UiTM or IIUM.

After the test, at the night of 19th March of 2011, we had a pre-graduation dinner for the Foundation in TESL students in UiTM Hotel. Well, we bid farewell to each other. Students and lecturers. Eventually there are students that will go to other courses or other universities. All four foundation programs in UiTM which are Science, Engineering, TESL, and Law doesn't require the students to stay in UiTM for degree. We have the freedom to go outside and explore new things. But thanks to UiTM for selecting us, to be in this program from May last year until March this year.

Here are some footages of me for the dinner:

 Me with Faiz 'Martin' and Asmira

 The hot red is Nisreen Afifah and at my left side is Ainaa who is one of the Committee Members

 Nadiah Lasuan who are the winner...the most valuable pad in the world~

(I should win the prize if I had sit on that chair...sigh~...just consider myself that I'm not lucky enough)

Acap cannot stop himself from holding the prize..haha...with Ameen with his 'sudden fierce' face

 The song which I played, is from The Strokes - Someday

Idzham and I like to tease Farahafizah along the dinner...xP

The mini Meranti hurdle that will always be remembered

Thanks for a such nice dinner guys, but frankly, I really prefer buffet rather than served foods. Not to forget, that the girls look gorgeous and the guys look hot that night. I really wish the night will never end...But who am I to stop the time as it still running out? I see and heard lots of cry. All I can do is trying to hug you guys (males) as I will never see you ever again next time and say hello or hi for those girls that I had never talk with. I will remember you guys forever, and sorry for all my wrongdoings and mistakes. The biggest sorry of all, would be sorry for myself, for my daftness, not to appreciate every second that I had gone through as the TESL student. I love you guys and I really wish we can meet again. 

Nisreen and Farahafizah, don't you guys ever cry in front of me again or I will also burst in tears..hua~...that's why you see I became hyper-active that night so that I can forget the sadness. I stomp onto lots of balloons just to wanna have fun, sorry for the loud 'bangs' that I have created. All I can say I love you guys !!! Special thanks to Thoriq, Izzul and Faiz Khuzairi who are willingly to play a song with me. You guys are the best~

For the lecturers, sorry if I don't fill the attendance slip and sleep in your class...Ha !!! I also played PSP in your class whenever I feel bored....sorry~I really feel proud that night with The Strokes look alike dress !!!

Thanks for you guys !!!

I'm proud to be a TESLian

I love all of you guys

So long my friend and adversary

I'll wait for you

(The Strokes - Under Cover Of Darkness)

Think Positive !!!

Assalamualaikum and good evening~

The final examination for my course, Foundation in TESL, University Technology MARA (UiTM) was already started. The first paper was yesterday. To my surprise, I felt happy yesterday and start to think positive in life. I try to smile all day long as my heart longs to live the day, happily.

Luckily I didn't catch a fever yesterday...haha

Thanks to the Japanese drama, Great Teacher Onizuka (GTO). Actually I watched the anime when I was about 15, and because of the cool personality of Onizuka, I dreamed to be a teacher one day. As I was in school, for about 10 years, 1999-2004 for primary school and 2005-2009 for secondary school, I realized that some of the teachers don't really understand the students. I still remembered what my mathematic teacher had said, he's a male; "treat me as a friend but respect me as a teacher". I promised to myself if I got the chance to be a teacher, I will understand the students better and be friends with them. Because I believe, the notorious students have their own problems and reason why they do such things. Because I used to be a naughty student too. xD

This is Eikichi Onizuka starred by Sorimachi Takashi 

This is the real Eikichi Onizuka in manga and anime

(I don't think it's a problem if a smoker becomes a teacher...xP)

I also addicted to the new song of my favorite band, which is The Strokes, from their 4th new album, Angles: Under Cover Of Darkness. As I listen to the song for many times, the more addicted I am to their music. Of course, their music arrangement is superb and I put them as my favorite band of all time. Their album will be released in 22nd of March. And my Foundation of TESL will be on 19th of March. I already bought a bundle blazer which costs me RM20 (not including repairing the buttons, RM3), The Strokes t-shirt RM33, Converse old school canvas shoes RM135, and alter my black jeans. And I'm ready to look like The Strokes !!! My idol in music !!!

Well, gotta be prepared for the next 5 papers, goodbye folks~

=D

Thanks For Your Arrogant...=)

Assalamualaikum and good night

I'm hating the fact that I'm losing my friends at the end of my foundation. I always believe that once you are my friend, regardless how bad you are, or how kind you are. No matter how they treat me (well there are some of my friends did treat me badly), I am still their friend.

Well, I know that our relationship doesn't work. But can't we just turn back to the times when we were just friends? I miss the old days, sitting in front of you and have a long chat. We used to go out together with the other friends. Can't you just forget about all in the past and move on with life? I just wanna be your friend.

Maybe it's all my fault to start feeling something which I considered as stupid towards you. But still it was all out of my control and you started to feel annoyed. But maybe it was also because sometimes I misinterpret with your  'signs'...I thought those were the 'signs' that you felt the same way too.

But instead when you know my real feeling towards you, you began to evade me as I am not your friend anymore. Come on, if at least you can't accept me at that particular time, we just can be friends but it is your arrogant that kills me deeply me inside.

Or you just hooked with new boy, or a boy who you knew before me. It's okay, I can accept it, but my mood is unpredictable. When the time I need you the most, to chat by only using IM, you started to ignore me and continue with your arrogant. I felt stranded alone here.

Now the same thing is repeating. Yet, the history is keep repeating itself, while I'm not aware of it. I just wanna be her friend but instead she did the same thing that you did to me. Yeah, I just knew that she's also still hooked up with her crush and let no openings for me to be her friend. Thank you.

Well, luckily I'm not a person who will crush other people's heart after my heart was badly crushed. I simply don't want other people to feel the same feeling like me, if I didn't treat them well. Although I knew some of them felt some funny feelings toward me, I still be there as a friend and I do like to be their friend..

I'll guess I hafta stay away from girls that may attract me so that I won't have any weird feelings.
Anyway, for the friends who are being ignorant to me....Thanks for the arrogant side of you.
You did teach me about the bitterness of life.
=)

P.S - To all my friends, sometimes I did feel tired of making 'the first move' in our friendship...I'll wait for you, and lets see whether you are gonna start it or not okayyy?

Last Lecture's Week

Assalamualaikum and good evening

Today is Sunday. What's so special about today? I get a full enjoyment of my weekend, rather than last week. Last week sure is a hectic one because I have to perform my group's drama, 'Nyemah Mulya' and I played the role of 'Hang Tuah', the legendary Malacca's Silat martial artist. It is not an easy task as most of the scenes, I am the props man and I joined the stage later on in the last scene. Haha

Here are some pictures in my fighting scenes, which are totally not in order
x)

Not to forget, last week I got the chance to represent my college, College Meranti in a inter-college basketball league. Alhamdulillah we won the 2nd place. We had to face the Non-Residents (NR) which form their own team, and yet they can join the inter-college competition although they lived outside the college. The problem is, many of the members of the NR teams are the representatives for lots of sports including basketball for my university, UiTM.
=..="
So it is damn hard to win the match

This week is the final week for us to be in the group. For all the laughters, joy, blood, sweat and tears will be ended within this very week. Later on we'll have the study leave for about a week and we'll start our final in no time. We'll have a long break from March to September. Only after that, we will proceed with the degree program What a long holiday for us to enjoy...=P
But now I have a mixed feelings. I do wanna end my foundation as soon as possible but I also afraid that I will the days with my friends.

They might change their course and university in September....sigh~

I also must start doing my revision but the assignments keeps my hands from holding those books, especially Grammar, which we considered as the Additional Mathematic in our course. Better start looking forward for the assignments

Gonna miss my days in Foundation In TESL UiTM Shah Alam
=')