Bees Are Always Busy, So Do I

 Assalamualaikum and good morning

I feel my life as a robot right now...haha...Oh ya, I forgot, first of all thanks for those are still open my blog just to read stupid stuffs that I put in here. And sorry that I am too busy working right now...I have to work from morning until evening as a sales promoter and at the evening-night I helped my father out at the Bakso stall. I make drinks for the customer. Insya-Allah I'll try my best to put some pictures in this blog later on.

 A cute bee that I think doesn't busy at all...xD

Many people asked me why I am so serious when it comes to money? >.< ....it is simple, I want to build my own empire of business and have lots of money in the bank for my family later on. It is for the sake of my parents, wife (in future) and kids (also in the future)...Plus, my friends said that we can later on start to finance easily after we get a job, with the degree in our hands.

For me, if we had the chance to save some money before we finished our degree would it be nice? You can have lots of money after graduating while others are about to start financing at that time. My target, I will have RM30k++ if I can save around RM5k for each two semesters in my degree. I believe It can be achieve if I put more discipline in handling my money. And that's why I'm thinking about quitting smoke... I want to save more money. I just don't care about my own health actually. I need cigarette whenever I feel tensed, hanging out with friends, after eating, bored, and many more. But it sure costs me and I can't bare it anymore.

For these 4-5 months there are few targets that I want to achieve, that's why I'm busy working. In next few 4 months, insya-Allah I will get RM4k that I need. RM2k is for my savings, that would be a total of RM11k if I count it all, and another RM2k to buy the lovely Sony PlayStation 3. =D

I'm sure spending my money on consoles like this is far more better than buying new cell phones. Cell phones evolves fast. If you buy a new cell phone today, a month later you won't surprise if there's a new model, which has a stylish design, cheaper, the specifications are better than yours, and theworst part is, when you want to sell the existing cell phone, the price dropped tremendously. That's why I choose to buy PlayStation 3 than a new cell phone.

Just take a look at Allah's beautiful creation...I really wish I can get a huge 'empire' like this one day

For the money that I've been saving since last year, if it reaches RM20k, the dividend that I can get if I put into the bank, I will get around RM2k, well that's enough for an engagement. >.<. I think about getting engage in the age of 23 or 24. That should be just fine. I don't know why, but I keep on thinking about the future that awaits.

Owh my, I talk too much about money...-.-

Yeah and one more thing, when thinking about the girl that I like since I was in high school, makes me more energetic to work harder in order to make more money. Although I had two accidents while I was riding my motorcycle to work due to the slippery road, I stood up and ignored all the pain that I had to suffer. It is all because of her. I won't mind to save my money if it's not for her.

And for all more hardship that I have to face now, I know that God will repay it with happiness someday.
One of His name is Al-Muqsit, means The Just...I really believe He would give me the happiness that I need in the future...=')

The Regret Will Never End...

Assalamualaikum…

The date, 5th of April 2011. This is the birthday of the man that I love, Zakaria Bin Duramin, who was born on the 5th of April, 1947. It is a written-fate that he used to be my neighbor, back when my family was in the quarters of agricultural department in Serdang, Selangor. His wife, Mama (Rozlena Binti Ab Latif) would nurse me in her house, a place where I could feel the warmth of love and care, in the morning chill of the quarters. Sun may lit the ground by it's blazing sunshine in the morning, that will eventually arise everybody's life in the quarters. We lived like we were in some kind of village back then.

In the very house, I spend lots of time with them. Baba always entertained me with his jokes, and most of the weekends he will ask my parents' permission  to bring me out along together with Mama and his daughters, Kakak Rin (Ezrin Asyiqin) and Kakak Na (Ezna Syaqira).

Unfortunately, I think in the late 90's, Baba was admitted to a hospital which I can't remember. And he was admitted into the ward, for several days. Both of his kidneys were damaged. Later on, he had to go for dialysis. At first, he needs to go for it once a week, then twice a week, and at the critical time, once every two or three days.

His condition was still like that. My family had to move to Kulim, Kedah in 2003. Of course it was a sad moment for me, to leave the lovable family as I spend time with them since I was a little baby. They used to change my diapers, bath me, pick my ears, fed with foods and love...I appreciate that...Thanks a lot...=')

Actually, if I don't leave the quarters, they will move to Sungai Buloh. This is because, Baba's service in the government sector has ended...He retired in 2003. Ever since I was apart from them, I'll visit them for about 2-3 times every year if I had the chance to do so.

Time flies around very fast, with the blink of an eye, 2009 arrived, a year of chaos to me, as I had to face lots of challenges in that particular year. But for Baba and family, it turned to be worse than before. Mama was positive, for having cancer, and Baba's condition was weaker than before.

2010, Mama was cleared out from cancer, but Baba turned out to use a stick to support himself...Baba started to have problems with his eye, cataract. Then his ears cannot hear the sounds from the surroundings properly, he cannot smell as good as before. To make it simple, it's like his senses are having trouble. Kakak Na and Kakak Rin told me that some of his friends in the hospital, who used to have dialysis process have passed away. It is a miracle, that Baba still hanging on, although he had gone through the dialysis process for more than a decade. They also said that Baba's friends cannot stand for the kidney failure disease like him. Baba has a strong soul and spirit, to continue on living. He knew that he will never win the battle, but still he was fighting against it...until the end of his life...

About two weeks before he passed away, I was given the opportunity to take care of him for a night at a hospital...Only then I knew how hard it is to deal with old folks. We need to have lots of patience of course. He sometimes doesn't remember about the past due to the Alzheimer. So, when I take care of him for a night, he doesn't remember few things about events happened an hour before. Plus, when I tried to help him, somehow he was in a deep pain. I was sad when I had done things that make him in a crucial pain, but somehow I must do it for the sake of his health...That really makes me sad...

One evening, Kakak Na called me and said that Baba was in a really critical condition...I was having an outing back then. When she told me, my eyes started to fill by droplets of water...My friends were there, in I think it was not cool to cry in front of public. Back in my hostel, I sleep, to forget the problems. When I woke up, I checked my cell phone, I received lots of phone calls and texts. Baba passed away...I was bursting into tears. I quickly perform my Maghrib prayer, and read Surah Yaasin for him...

I cannot go to his house because I have no transport at that particular time...So I need to wait for the next morning to go to his funeral. I tried to wake up as early as I can, I took a bus to KL Central, and then took a train to Sungai Buloh. But I just couldn't make it to his burial ceremony.

In other words...I didn't have the chance to take a look at his face for the last time...To kiss his forehead for the first and last time...But now I don't have the chance anymore...T_T

The tears that I've been shedding until now just won't bring him back...